Where should I start? Well, how about where I am? I am writing this from a tablet, Samsung Galaxy 3 (not a stone tablet…), in a house in a small, boring suburb of a small town with little to do in the center of Colorado. I recently took a trip to Moab, Utah, where I skydived, camped, hiked and had a great time with some good friends (I guess a trip post could follow, after I get my thoughts out!). Also, I am unemployed, more or less have my engineering degree, lost my laptop to old age, living in my mom’s basement, I’m taking care of her (my) animals…and I’m bored out of my mind–I was until today.
Today my boredom got the best of me and convinced me to not be bored, even in a boring town there is something to do, if you want there to be. In the recent weeks the metaphor that life is a roller coaster was compounded upon me…again, for the umpteenth time. For example, I graduated, then I was supposed to go to Montana for two weeks on a trip that was promised to be a dirtbag adventure minimizing cost and maximizing life…to which I was uninvited a day before our departure, via text, can’t say I wasn’t a little disappointed, or annoyed to not even have the courtesy of a phone call. Next, I put together an AFF class in Moab, where we took the first steps to getting a skydiving class a license, which included a solo jump. The problem now is that I have an even larger addiction to everything that includes flight; this all began with my first intro flight…hell maybe even my first RC plane, first airliner flight, first bird sighted!? From Moab, I came back to the fast pace of American life that somehow surrounded me but did not include my unemployed self. The fast pace of hurrying up to wait — the stress induced by television drama, traffic lights, traffic, the asshole who looked at you funny, or even the unnatural feel that something needs to be done even if it doesn’t. Moab was fun because we didn’t have that. The whole nature of being in nature allowed time to slow down. The scenery was enough to allay the stress of traffic, the swim across the Colorado River was fueled by the challenge and was unhurried, if only by our own stamina. Corona Arch held no appointments, and we only had to make it to the airport on time for skydiving, which was an adventure in many experienced on this adventure.
Today I learned…I guess what I have known for quite some time. Happiness is out there, search for it, but allow yourself to slow down and go with the flow, for then you will find your happiness. Outside ideas fueled by family, friends, culture, media, etc. are unhelpful and lead to added stress. Today I found happiness in driving around with my dogs in the backseat, snouts out the window, the wind rolling through the car. But, that is not all I have found happiness to be. Happiness happens when you share your toil, strife and goals; when you try your hardest and triumph, or live to try again tomorrow; when your goal has been achieved and you don’t need congratulations because you know what went into that goal.
Today I was happy, last weekend I was happy. But now I need some new goals: career goals and moving out goals. I want to skydive, I want to be happy, I want to spend more time with the people I love, I want to adventure, I want to learn, I want to make people happy, I want to live…I may not want to enter an office.